RESPECT............ R E S P E C T ????????

So what does the word RESPECT mean to you? Does it mean something your child gives you??? (but dosn't??) Does it mean something a friend gives you?? (but dosn't??) Does it mean something a so called "boyfriend" or "man friend" SHOULD give you when deciding after months NOT to talk to you again..... (but dosn't?)......

Why yes, I guess you can tell I am a bit cycnical !!!!!! I am a bit sarcastic !!!! I guess in all reality I am just a BITCH out in the world somewhere who has decided that I DESERVE "R E S P E C T" !!!

I deserve it from my child...I deserve it from my friends.....I even deserve it from the (asshole's come to mind, but really I guess they deserve my "R E S P E C T" too..) men that have come into my life!!!!

I am beyond pissed.mad.even beyond the sending a really mean text.or making a pissed off.drunk.phone call!!!! "R E S P E C T" ~ seems to have gone "out the window"!!!! NO ONE seems to "R E S P E C T" anyone these days!!!

Hey, how about paying me child support in "R E S P E C T"?, how about explaining to me "R E S P E C T F U L L Y" why after months you decide not to talk to me?, how about just "R E S P E C T I N G" me in general for being there for everyone for everything????

Hu, seems " R E S P E C T" is a LONG GONE thing in this world we live in........

RESPECT ME AND I WILL RESPECT YOU!!!.....just sayin!!!!!

LIFE.............with a nine year old, two crazy kittens, one gerbil in a cage and one still loose in my room....

now how is that for a title of a post?????

Life with a nine year old can best be described as interesting, never dull, exasperating, annoying, fun, hormonal, did I mention exasperating???? And she hasn't even been nine for a month......trouble is a looming.........I do have on thing in my corner, I've been there and done it!!! Got away with some of it and got caught for some of it.....................

The two crazy kittens can best be described as interesting, never dull, exasperating, annoying, fun, did I mention exasperating??? Are you seeing the same pattern I am??? The loose one is still alive in my bedroom......not really sure how I will ever catch the bastard.......probably just never sleep in my room again....wow, I just reread what I wrote and I went from writting about the kittens to talking about the damn gerbils.............WOW!!!

So maybe I should be the one living in the gerbil cage and set everyone else loose?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Will you get me a beer deahhhh???

Yup!! I just did what I said I NEVER would do!!!!! EVER!!!!!! Guessin we can just add this to the list!!!! You know that list of "OMG! I would never let a video entertain my baby" ~ "Oh wait, she likes that video and I have NOT showered in days...mmmmm....well okay, just this once"!!! or "I am never gonna buy babyfood in a jar, everything she eats will be homemade" ~ "oh, wait, I haven't eatten in how many days???" Oh how is this one??? "You shall always have a set bedtime and bedtime routine, no matter what"..... ~ hahahahahaha!!! Then she got older and then summers off from school and then well we all know what happened after that......LOL

I look back at some of the things I swore I would never do and I laugh, I laugh so hard, at myself, at the world in general...why, why do we let the world dictate how we raise our children? Why do we read parenting books? Alto l these books just tell us what the "norm" is!!!!!! Is there a norm? Are we all supposed to raise our children in a certain way? I wish I knew....I really do.......what I can say is that I stopped reading the books, and I stopped listening other people and I started listening to my inner voice, you know the one, the one that I should have listened to all along.........

The voice that tells me my daughter will be just fine..........just fine......no matter what "I THINK I screw up"!!!!!

Dear Midge...........

I want to start off by saying while I have failed at many things in my life or maybe we can just chalk them up to "growing experiences" the ONE thing I have done right is to have you!!! I LOVE you with all my heart more and more each day! and while we test each other hour by hour, minute by minute hell second by second I wouldn't change one hour,minute or one second!!!!!

You speak your mind, you are full of sass,sarcasam and rightenous.....while I get upset or mad even @ you when you express your opinions, they are your own, and while as your mother I try to reign you in, I know that the reason you are who you are is due to a large part of me letting you be who you are......you are the sunshine to my rain, the heaven to my hell, the sweet to my sour.....lately you have wanted to cuddle more then you have wanted to in a long time, and while yes, there are times I say "go, please go find something to do" and you get mad, upset and even "exasperated" at me....as you so nicely explained this AM to me....(where you learned the word escapes me....ohhh, wait....I....oh never mind...... LOL )the reason I tell you to go find something to do is because you are usually trying to "mother" me and what I want is for you to enjoy your childhhood...and be a kid!!!

You and I have a very special bond my darling daughter, we have been doing this mother/daughter thing together, alone for a long time.......and I realize that you and I will always be there for each other because of this, I also worry that you carry a burdun on your shoulder's that is far more then any child your age should carry, but then I look in your eyes and I see a maturity that is far removed from a "nine" year old....I see what I call "an old soul" in your eyes......and I know that you are not carrying a "burdon" on your shoulder's, you just love your mumma and want her to be happy as I want you to be happy!!

I love you Lexie Lou, Midge, Lex, Alexandria, Miss Lexie, Peanut, LoveBug !!!!! You are my world !!! I wish you the best Birthday Ever and I wish that this Ninth year (tech....tenth) brings you happiness,carefreeness,and most of all I want you to know that I, your mumma, love you more then anything in the world........

Happy Birthday Baby Girl !!!

Love Mumma!!!

Brassiere shopping for a NINE year old????

I guess my baby is really growing up!! We are going "brassiere" shopping this week.....I actually went and got advice about bra shopping from an almost 15 year old.......!!

The "half" tshirts Midge has been wearing are not gonna cut it this year, especially ummmmm, well in the "cold"!!! I am just amazed at how self conscious and aware girls (and boys...ugggg....) are these days..... Yes, I have seen a change but didn't want to mention it.....not a big one, but she has for the last six weeks been really self conscious about what shirts she wears and wants to layer everything so I have conceded!! I would rather she be less self conscious and enjoy her life then to keep worrying about "bumps" showing as she puts it......

For the record I never had my first brassiere until I was going into the eigth grade!!! Not that I probably didn't need one before that but times were different and it was NOT until the end of my 7th grade year that I started to get teased a little...but hell, I had braces in the 4th grade at 9, then glass's in the 7th grade so to me being teased about needing a bra was minor after being teased for brace's and then brace's AND glass's at the same time......but again, times r a changing and I would rather my "baby" B happy and comfortable with her body then to worry about it like she has been!!!!!!!!

NOT! MY WEEKEND............

I have been saying that for over 5 years.......but what does it really mean? Every weekend is YOUR weekend as a parent...whether your child is with YOU or not!!!!!!! I DO look forward to the break every two weeks and then I can't wait for her to come home! I have to say though that this summer has been difficult and challenging with a tween and I have been looking forward too all the breaks.....I don't think this makes me a bad parent just a "normal" parent, or as normal as you can be in my house!!!!

So once again this coming weekend is NOT! my weekend and after the last two weeks I am looking forward to it!!! I need my time, time to do what I want, read a book without being interrupted, watch a movie in its entirety, drink one too many beers or have one too many glass's of wine with no worries, stay at a friends house for the night......now I realize not all people or parents will agree with me, I understand that, but what I do know is that the friends I have who are parents would whole heartily agree with me!!!

Being a single mother is hard, no doubt about it, I am lucky that I do have a good child, sassy, sarcastic and speaks her mind child, but a pretty good child for the most part!!! Alas though it is still hard, I am the one who has to cloth her, feed her, put a roof over her head, make sure she is safe, when she is sick it is me who lays with her at night and cuddles with her on the couch during the day, it is me who cleans up the puke or the snot or runs to the store for medicine and pops with a sick child in tow.........I don't get to share these responsibilities with anyone, I can't say "well you take the next three hours while I sleep and then we will switch off", I can't say well you go lay down with her while I watch my TV shows I have waited all week to see", and as hard as this is at times, she is mine, all mine and I wouldn't have it any other way!!!!!!!!

I LOVE YOU MY BEAUTIFUL,AWSOME,SOMETIMES PAIN IN THE ARS TWEEN!!!!!!!! MORE THEN LIFE ITSELF!!!!!!!!!

Blue Moon, Coon's Age N Donkey Years........

Once again it has been a while.....you would think that when one is NOT working at All, and one's daughter is either at the B N G club or visiting friends upta camp for the majority of the day or days on end one would have time to blog.....but alas, I am NOT good with time anymore.....nope, not at all.....(thank you Heather, the one thing you gave me, the punctual one...... love n miss you always! :) ).....I was and always had been the one who was always on time, early, way early, maybe too early always.....all the time......but alas NO more......I don't know if it is a blessing or a curse!!!! Butttt.......I just seem to go with the flow more and more these days.......I have relaxed, I am no longer (well, I have my moments.......LOL ) so concerned where I am going but more concerned about enjoying the moment in its fullest.....it has only taken me what.....40 plus years to figure this out.......!! Don't get me wrong, as I said I still sometimes freak about getting from here to there @ a certain time....especially on club days.....as the 10:00 AM drop off time some mornings seems to be an eternity away........but for the most part I seem to just drift from moment to moment.......

Midge is upta camp with some friends from her church for the week.......she seems to be having a great time.....as am I for the most part, but damn I miss that girl !!!! I have only seen her for about 30 minutes in six days......I have only been away from her this long twice, once when she was 9 months old and last August when she was away at an overnite church camp for a week......I know it is good for her to get away from me for more then a couple days every other week,(actually even then I still see her........) and I know she and I both need the time away from each other........and I never thought I would say this but damn I miss those "bitch" fits if you will, I miss her saying, with hand on hip..."now, really mumma, really?" I miss her looking at me saying "well I guess you don't care what I eat, or whether I stay in my room all night, now do you?" (yup that is my daughter......:) ) !!!

I am glad that she gets to experience life out of this city.......but damn I still miss the sass n sarcasam she is so fluent in....have NO idea where she gets it.......