Blue Moon, Coon's Age N Donkey Years........

Once again it has been a while.....you would think that when one is NOT working at All, and one's daughter is either at the B N G club or visiting friends upta camp for the majority of the day or days on end one would have time to blog.....but alas, I am NOT good with time anymore.....nope, not at all.....(thank you Heather, the one thing you gave me, the punctual one...... love n miss you always! :) ).....I was and always had been the one who was always on time, early, way early, maybe too early always.....all the time......but alas NO more......I don't know if it is a blessing or a curse!!!! Butttt.......I just seem to go with the flow more and more these days.......I have relaxed, I am no longer (well, I have my moments.......LOL ) so concerned where I am going but more concerned about enjoying the moment in its fullest.....it has only taken me what.....40 plus years to figure this out.......!! Don't get me wrong, as I said I still sometimes freak about getting from here to there @ a certain time....especially on club days.....as the 10:00 AM drop off time some mornings seems to be an eternity away........but for the most part I seem to just drift from moment to moment.......

Midge is upta camp with some friends from her church for the week.......she seems to be having a great time.....as am I for the most part, but damn I miss that girl !!!! I have only seen her for about 30 minutes in six days......I have only been away from her this long twice, once when she was 9 months old and last August when she was away at an overnite church camp for a week......I know it is good for her to get away from me for more then a couple days every other week,(actually even then I still see her........) and I know she and I both need the time away from each other........and I never thought I would say this but damn I miss those "bitch" fits if you will, I miss her saying, with hand on hip..."now, really mumma, really?" I miss her looking at me saying "well I guess you don't care what I eat, or whether I stay in my room all night, now do you?" (yup that is my daughter......:) ) !!!

I am glad that she gets to experience life out of this city.......but damn I still miss the sass n sarcasam she is so fluent in....have NO idea where she gets it.......

Broad Band vs. Dial Up....of the Apeture sort!!!!

So,a comment made, the person saying comment realizes said comment did NOT come out correctly......what to do? Well make fun of said self on Facebook NO less and laugh about it!!!!

But in all seariousness, I have since thought to myself, how manytimes DO I make some sort of sarcastic comment and NOT realize it didn't quite come out as I had intended????? Have I offended someone with that "sarcastic" comment I just made? I don't know......because sarcasam is like a second language to me, it defines me!!!! It is who I am and always have been!!! Actually sarcasam is my first language, english would be my second!!!! I can't help myself.....give me the opportunity and somehow I can find some sort of sarcastic comment to make....my friends~at least my close friends anyway...~ know me and expect it.....they laugh.....(at least to my face...now are they NOT laughin when I/they leave???)

Maybe in a way being sarcastic is my way of guarding myself, after all my life has NOT been exactly idealic, nor calm, nor anywhere near normal.....LOL!!!

I remember getting spoken to in school about my "sarcastic" comments, and today when my own daughter said that her teacher does NOT appreciate HER sarcasam!

I started to think, hmmmm......maybe I have offended someone somewhere.....IDK!!! But until someone says to me that I have, the sarcasam I am absolutley certain will always be in my Apeture!!! And well, Midge's 3rd grade teacher and future teachers....it is a genetic thing!!! Get used to it!!!! :)

Over a year.....WOW!!!

I havn't been able to blog because I couldn't remember my password, and everytime I tried to reset it they were sending it to my "eliminated job" email address, wasn't until the other day that I was finaly able to get it all straightened out!!! So once again I can blog about the daily ongoings in Midge's life and mine, boring as they may be!!!!!!

The post with NO title!! Because? Well because I can't come up with one.......... :)

Lets see, what is new? What has been happenin? (is that even a word? ****reminder: need to check with Mr.Webster to find out..)in the world of Mumma and Lexie? Well lets see:

Last night we went to a Scentsy candle party, all though I am not sure you would call them a "candle" as they have no wick, they melt by the warmth of a light.......at least that is what I understood, guess Lexie and I will find out when we get our order!! Nothing like the blind ordering...you know what I mean!!.lOl...

ummmm, a couple weeks ago I volunteered for the "tatoo" table at winter carnival on a Thursday night, now that was interesting, I am sure the parents of the child who had me put the tatoo on as well as directly in the middle of her forhead are absolutely in love with my tatooing abilites....I just know it!!!! What do you say to a second grader who pulls up her bangs and says HERE, I WANT MY TATOO HERE!!!!! She and all her friends are looking at me as well as me thinking okay this is my daughters friend.....be a cool mumma !!! I was, she got her tat placed right in the middle of her forhead, only a week later when MY tat hadn't washed off yet did I realize or even think, OOOOOPPPSSSSSS! Wonder how her tatoo is "washing" off.....live and learn!!! and well waiting to hear if I get the invite back next year....LOL !!!!

Also went to a Contra dance at Lexie's school, she was supposed to teach me the dance's with all the other parents and kids and guess what? Halfway thru she says to me.....so and so has no one to dance with Mumma so I am going to dance with her !!!! I understand, she felt bad and wanted to dance with her friend buttttt there was her mumma on the side line....LOL I am proud of my little girl for putting other people first, very very proud of her!!!!(but I did drift back to the wallflower side of my highschool years....no scars here !! Nope !!! NONE...lol)

This coming up week I am going to the local Children's Museum with Lexie's girl scout troop....that should be fun!!! 15 seven year olds in a Children's Museum.....(umm, is it wrong to think yipeeeee my car is right down the street, I can ....well run if needed??? )

Oh yes then Saturday night Lexie and I are going to a "girl scout hockey game night" on Saturday night, again, 15 seven year olds...............

Oh and the best for last...my parents are coming into town late on Saturday night and I need to look around for a "cheap" hotel room for the night, there is still something about your parents even at 41 when they request something of you as important as a
"good" nights rest cheap.....what if I fuck up and find them what I think is a "good" nights rest cheap and they hate it? What do I do then? Okay detour...Lexie dosn't want to change into jams right now....why??? because "she dosnt' want too"..she wants to wait TEN more minutes..........why???? NO reason.....(she just wants to fuck with me folks, that is all that is about......trust me my friends...........LOL)

gotta go folks,gotta run.....(never make the statement in a "minute" because in my house you get "quoted" "timed" and held to that statement, there is NO leway!!!! NONE!!!!!!

it is now 7:37 and it was 7:36.....soooooooooooooo....."mumma, 7:37"

and there she is.......

and her name is Lexie.............LOL!!! My spitfire of a daughter!!! Who informed me that......................she can,she will and that is that!!! Love you my "baby girl" LOL!!

The Birthday............

It was dusk, the sky was slightly overcast, the wind was blowing straight thru you, but there we where, the four of us,the mother,the father,the sister and the great grampy, we stood there in the wind,holding our hands,thinking of those who could not be there with us, thinking of his meme and grumpa who loved him deeply,his auntie and uncle who couldn't come to the birthday but loved him deeply too, thinking of his cousins who he never meet and who would have loved him, keeping hold of our gift to the son,little brother,great grandson,the boy, we stood there holding hands,while we all waited to give the gift, the gift of our love,the gift of releasing our love into the sky, hoping it would carry on to heaven,the only gifts we could give,the gift of words from the great grandfather who said the most important words I had heard all day!! About the boy, about how loved he was and still is,about the fact that he is in heaven and loved there just as much as he would have been here, how his great grandmother is holding him and loving him and looking after him as well as grandfather,his "Auntie" all his Great Grampies and Gramies,cousins,aunts,uncles everyone up in Heaven!! Then we let the balloons go,and they went,up into the wind that blew straight thru us, the big sister let them go, the big sister let them fly up into the wind straight to heaven as she cried out "Happy Birthday little brother, I miss you and I love you!" As the mother and father stood there and starred, starred at how grown up their seven and a half year old was..... at how much they wish life had been different....at how much they wish they could change.....and at ******HOW MUCH THEY CAN CHANGE IF THEY HAVE THE COURAGE TO TRY!!!!!*******

****It was the most beautiful birthday party I have ever attended!

The Grave.............

I need to tell the story, I havne't told you'all the story, why? I havn't had the time, or maybe I just haven't taken the time, it is a story that I have told over and over for the last five years,it is a club I belong to, a club that I never thought I would earn a membership to, but yet I did, a club that dosn't cost money to join nor has an initation to complete, someday I will tell the story,the story about how I joined this club for no money and no initation,a club thru which I have meet some of the most amazing women in my life, but not today, today is the about the grave! The grave I need to go visit in a few days, the grave that is next to "his" great grammies grave who would have loved him so, the grave that has the most beautiful angel engraved on it, the grave that is mauveish in color, the grave that says "his" name, the gravestone that "his" great grampy purchased with love in "his" memory, the gravestone that I have not gone to visit with my daughter, the grave that my daughter goes to visit with her great grampy 3 or 4 times a week, the grave that I only visit alone,every few days on my way to work, the grave that has made me late to work before, the grave which I have shown off with pride,the grave says...."his" name, Anthony Douglas Montefesco, the grave that says February 10,2005, the grave that tells me it has been 5 years!! Five years!!!! The grave that says "he" existed, I love you with all my heart and will miss you always my son!!! We love you forever and ever, your mumma,sister,daddy,great grampy,meme,grumpa,your Aunts and Uncles, your cousins, your heavenly relatives! Everyone who know's us loves and miss's you!!!!!!!!

Rest in Peace my sweet little boy, rest in peace!!!!!!! your mumma loves and miss's you!